I’m writing this a little late due to be a tad under the weather the past few days but, hey, better late than never right?! Right.
I really don’t know where to begin other than stating the fact that 2018 was hard. Damn hard. (Sorry Mama!)
2 of my uncles died within ohhh a month or so of each other, I had to put my uncles dog down (it really was best but OMG that was horrible, my hubby and I both had health scares, my mother-in-love was in and out of the hospital…y’all I could go on but let’s just leave it as it left me pretty broken.
It was an amazing year too though, my kiddos turned 10,6, and 4!! Hubby and I celebrated 12 years of marriage! We bought a new puppy for my uncle! We gained some new amazing friends, my daughters softball team won 1st place, there were so many good things that happened.
The past few years have been such a roller coaster. I’d catch my breath and something else would happen, another family member pass away, friendships ending, etc. I know that that’s just how life is sometimes but it was slowly taking longer and longer to catch my breath and after the first half of this year I just couldn’t breathe anymore. I have felt constantly overwhelmed, constantly guilty (over the dumbest things y’all. The DUMBEST THINGS), and just tired. My hormones have been a wreck and I stopped taking care of myself. At. All. I just made sure everyone else was good.
Towards the end of 2018 when I started reflecting on the year and thinking about what my word was going to be and what my goals for the year were going to be I did start have moments where I could feel like I could breathe again, because I started to implement healthy habits.
And that’s where my 2019 goals come in:
First of all, I don’t think I’m choosing a word this year. I can’t seem to find one without it feeling like too much pressure. I just want to feel less overwhelmed and less guilty over every choice I make. I want to feel confident in my choices, whatever they may be.
I want to have one date night out a month with my hubby and one date night in a week. I do have some other more intimate goals that I’m not going to share here 😁
Number one is to get back into a good routine and get my 4 year old more involved. Number two is to join a group, not a co-op but a group that has SO MANY different activities from book clubs to field trips (I’ve already done this one!)
To have daily one on one time with them and to have monthly dates with them. To be more active with them outside everyday and to play one game with them a day. Also to read 20 minutes (outside of school) with them a day. I want to write in their journals once a week.
Oh man. To declutter. Y’all, I want it all out and I want it out now. I’ve already done a lot but this year…ooohhhh…I’m being ruthless. I also have a few projects like building my garden, finishing the downstairs bathroom, putting curtains up in my room..etc. things like that. Oh and of course to find a good rhythm for cleaning.
First off, is spending time in the word every day. I know if I start there, that’s the best choice. I want to eat nourishing foods. I want to move more. Yes, I do want to lose weight but I’m not going to go by that as it can trigger some pretty unfair feelings towards myself and I am not about that this year. I want to feel good and take care of myself. I want to journal more. I want to meditate more. I want to rest more. I want to do as much homesteading as I can here. I want to get back into photography. I want to do more things that bring me joy. I want to love myself again.
My goal is to eventually be doing 2 posts here and 2 videos a week. It will not start out that way as I’m easing my way into everything.
Breaking Them Down
So as I said I’m easing my way into my goals for 2019. It’s easier to ensure that I won’t quit if I take smaller steps each month and work towards the bigger goal. I’ve felt so overwhelmed for so long that taking baby steps feels perfect and I’m hoping that my confidence in myself and my ability to do things will grow with each baby step conquered (or not but I won’t feel guilty because I’ll be learning something doesn’t work).
2018 was so hard that I was actually scared of 2019 coming. Scared of “what if this year is worse than last year?”. Ya know what, it may be, I pray to God that it is not, but that’s out of my control. So, instead, I’ll work on my outlook, attitude, and all the things I can control, and get closer to God so that when the hard things come I’ve got things in place to help me breathe and take care of everyone including myself!
What are your goals for 2019?? Let me know in the comments below!